Should you always talk on the phone before meeting?

Let’s talk about something I hear people say a lot on social media: “You should always talk on the phone before you meet!" 

My response:
Only if you want to. 

(I, personally, do not want to.)

Let me tell you a quick story:

Years ago, I drove nearly an hour to meet a guy for a dinner date. Saturday night. Two hours together. He talked for literally 1 hour and 58 minutes… and most of it wasn’t even about him—it was about his friend.

He didn’t ask me a single question.

I could hardly get a word in edgewise.
I drove home very sure I never needed to do that again.

I shared this story on Threads recently, and people started chiming in with:
   “Did you talk to him on the phone first?”
   “You should always do a pre-date call!”

This happened so long ago, I don't remember if we chatted on the phone first. Most likely we did not. 

Why?

I don’t like talking on the phone to strangers.
(Heck, I don't always even like talking on the phone to people I do know a lot of the time.) 
That is my preference. 

My friend, on the other hand, always does a quick phone call with every guy she plans to meet. 

That is her preference. 

Here's what works for me:

  ✅ A short face-to-face meetup over coffee or a quick happy hour;

  ✅ A quick 15-20 minute FaceTime; or

  ✅ Letting them make the drive to me to meet in person or meeting halfway or driving to where they are depending on what I am in the mood for. 

There’s no one-size-fits-all rule here.📝 
You just need to know what works for you—and honor that.

The goal isn’t to avoid awkwardness forever. 

The goal is to feel grounded in your own decisions.

So, if you like a phone call? Great.
Prefer FaceTime? Perfect.
Would rather meet briefly in person? Also, great!

The goal is to make choices that feel aligned for you.

👉 Tip: Just remember keep the first interaction short and the expectations low no matter the format. (Trust me on this!)

 💬 Need help vetting your dates before the first date?

If you’ve been doing what everyone else says works and are feeling burnt out, frustrated, overwhelmed, or disappointed in the process, let's talk. 

We’ll look at where you’re overriding your own preferences, how to stay focused as you meet new people, and how to stop bending to every “should” in the book.  

Because you don't need to do what everyone else says. 

You just need a way of dating that actually works for you.

☎️ Schedule a FREE call with me here. (On Zoom, unless of course you'd prefer a phone call!)

 Let’s date better, together!