What most women get wrong about boundaries in dating
Let’s talk about one of the most misunderstood parts of dating: boundaries.
Boundaries are a hot topic these days and rightfully so. But in the dating world, they’re often misused, misunderstood, or completely avoided.
Let’s clear a few things up.
What Most People Get Wrong About Boundaries
A lot of women frame boundaries as rules we place on other people:
"You can’t talk to me like that."
"You can’t come home drunk."
"You need to stop texting your ex."
But here’s the truth:
A boundary is actually telling someone what you will do if they behave in a certain way.
In other words:
❌ A boundary isn’t something you put on someone else.
✅ A boundary is something you place on yourself.
Real Boundaries Sound Like This:
Instead of:
“You can’t come home wasted after a night out.”
You say:
“If you come home wasted, I’ll leave and stay somewhere else for the night.”
See the difference?
You’re not trying to control anyone.
You’re not telling them what they have to do.
You’re stating clearly what behavior doesn’t work for you and what action you will take to protect your peace if that boundary is crossed.
Boundaries are not about policing someone else’s behavior.
They’re about protecting your energy and then following through with your own decisions.
Boundaries = Self-Trust
Healthy dating boundaries aren’t about pushing people away.
They are about preserving your peace, building trust with yourself, and calling in the right people for you.
They show that:
You mean what you say.
You know how you want to be treated.
You’re willing to walk away when someone can’t meet your standards or isn’t aligned with your values.
A Few Examples of Real Boundaries That Stick:
The way to communicate your boundary is by using an if / then statement. For example,
“If you cancel last-minute more than once, I won’t reschedule.”
“If you pressure me for sex, I’ll stop seeing you altogether.”
“If you raise your voice at me, I’ll end the conversation until we can talk calmly.”
“If you ghost me and come back later, I won’t be here waiting.”
🛑 Boundaries are not red flags to the right person.
🧭 They are road signs to a healthy relationship with you.
The right person will respect your boundaries because they respect you.
Even if they don’t like your boundary, they won’t punish you for having one.
Boundaries Only Work If You Do
If you constantly:
Over-explain your boundaries
Set them but never follow through
Second-guess yourself the moment someone pushes back
...then of course you’ll feel frustrated and disappointed when people don’t act the way you want them to.
But I want you to know: it doesn’t have to be that way.
This Is What I Teach My Clients Every Day
✅ How to set boundaries that stick
✅ How to follow through without guilt, fear, or overexplaining
✅ How to stay grounded even when the other person reacts poorly
Because when you're clear about what you want and what you will accept, dating becomes so much easier.
Ready to Learn How to Set Boundaries That Actually Work?
If you're tired of setting boundaries that don't stick—or avoiding them entirely because you don't want to seem “too much”—I want to help.
📅 Book a free dating strategy call with me and let's create your personal Dating Boundaries Plan.
Because when you Date Better, you:
Weed out the wrong people faster
Call in the right ones more easily
And stop feeling like dating is one giant emotional rollercoaster
You deserve to feel good about the way you date. I’d love to help you get there!
