Do you actually know what you’re looking for?

Are you dating for the life you want or the guy you just met?

Here’s a question I want you to think about:

If you are dating, do you actually know what you’re looking for in a partner?

I don’t actually mean:

   “Marriage”

   “A long-term relationship”

   Or even “someone who’s smart and funny and kind”

I mean something deeper. Something more future-focused. Something rooted in the actual life you want to build with someone… not just what makes for a fun Friday night.

 For example:

• Do you want someone who will take care of you when you’re sick, or someone who expects you to power through it alone?

• Do you want someone who shows up for hard conversations, or someone who shuts down or avoids them entirely?

• Do you want a partner who shares household responsibilities and actively co-parents, or someone who “helps out” once in a while and expects applause for it?

• Do you want someone who sees you as a full equal, or someone who secretly thinks their life is more important?

It’s not about finding someone funny or nice.

Here’s the truth: A good time guy doesn’t always make a great long-term guy.

The guy who’s fun to text with, who plans cool dates, who makes you laugh may not be the guy who’s ready to build a life with you. 

And if you’re not clear on what you actually want that life to look like, you’re going to keep getting pulled into relationships that feel good now but leave you wanting more later.

It's not just about whether he's great. 

It's about whether he's great for the role you are looking for. 

You have to date with your future in mind

You might think of it like a hiring decision: You're not just looking for a part-time clerk, you're hiring with promotion potential in mind. 

The same goes for dating: Start dating now for the role you want them to have later.

You’re not just dating for a boyfriend. You’re looking for a partner. A teammate. A safe place to land. Someone who shows up when it’s hard, not just when it’s fun.

And when you really know what you’re looking for:
   You stop evaluating every guy for potential.
   You start quickly weeding out who’s not a fit.
   And you free yourself up to actually find the person who is.

The signs of someone who has long-term potential

So how do you know if someone has long-term potential?

By paying attention to all the ways they show up - big and little - when you're getting to know them. 

   ✅ They are consistent and don't flake on plans

   ✅ They offer to help even when you didn't ask them too

   ✅ They ask about your life and interests outside of your relationship

   ✅ They engage kindly with waitstaff, children and old people

   ✅ They show up not just for the fun stuff but also for the ordinary, everyday stuff

What kind of life are you building?

You have to start asking yourself: What kind of life am I building and is this a person that is building that kind of life, too?

Once you know the answer to that question, dating for a long-term relationship gets a lot clearer. (Hint: Start asking it early and often!).

 Stop evaluating and start setting the standard

🎯 Do you need help getting clear on the kind of person you want for the kind of relationship you're looking for? 

If you’ve been evaluating every guy based on “Is he nice?” or “Do we have fun together?" you’re missing the mark on dating for a long-term partner.

If we work together, we'll define what actually matters to you, how to spot people who align with your values, and how to start dating with your eye on the future, not just on Friday night. 

Because the right partner is out there. 

You’ve just got to stop settling for people who aren’t even applying for the job. 📝

🩷 Book a complementary call with me today.

 You've got this. 💕