You don’t need the ‘best’ dating app; you need a strategy that works for you
The Truth About Dating Apps
One of the questions I hear most frequently is, “Which dating app should I be using?”
“Hinge? Bumble? Facebook Dating? Plenty of Fish?”
Usually followed by, “Ewww… Facebook Dating is terrible. Tinder is just for hookups. Hinge is cringe-y.”
But here's the thing: They all kind of suck. And they’re all kind of fine.
Because the app isn’t what makes or breaks your dating life.
YOU do.
The Apps Are Just For Introductions
Dating apps are just a method of introduction. That’s it.
They’re not magic portals that deliver dream partners.
They're tools. And you have to know how to operate them.
If you're going to use them to meet the kind of people you would actually want to date, you need to:
Be clear about what you’re looking for
Show up in a way that calls that kind of person in
Be discerning about who you choose to connect with
Stop Hoping the App Will Do the Work For You
It’s not the app’s job to weed out the weirdos, low-effort texters, or emotionally unavailable men.
That’s your job.
Yes, some apps might have different reputations or better usability depending on where you live—but there are “good” and “bad” people on all of them, both high-quality people and people who aren't a match, no matter which dating app you are using.
So the question isn’t “Which app?”
It’s “How am I using dating apps in a way that works for me?”
So instead of hoping an app will make dating easier for you or deliver your dream man to your inbox…
You Have to Be Your Own Matchmaker
You are your own best matchmaker.
That means you should be:
Reading profiles carefully.
Swiping with intention.
Looking for green flags (and passing on red ones).
Knowing your standards.
Leaving conversations that aren't aligned with what you're looking for.
And being discerning in who you choose to connect with.
Think of the apps like a giant singles event.
You're the one walking the room, deciding who gets your time and energy.
And if you walk in and realize the room sucks—or someone is making you uncomfortable?
You can simply exit the conversation or find another event.
No explanation required.
Should You Pay for Dating Apps?
Short answer?
I think so. Especially if the free version isn’t quite getting you where you want to go.
Dating apps are in the business of making money. That means some of the better matches and features may be behind a paywall. That doesn’t mean it’s a scam, it just means it’s a business.
And if your goal is finding a meaningful relationship, it's worth considering what you're willing to invest to make that happen - and that includes investing your time, energy and, yes, money.
That said, never commit to a long-term subscription up front.
Start with a single month. Try it out.
Then decide if it’s worth continuing.
It’s okay to test the waters without signing up for the annual “Swipe-For-A-Lifetime” plan. 😉
(Personally, I often sign up for a month at a time, then take a break and come back later. There’s no timeline. Sometimes a little reset gives you fresh energy—and new faces.)
You Don’t Need the Perfect App—You Need a Better Plan
Stop waiting for the perfect app to magically make dating easier.
The way to make dating better is to date better.
And you can do that starting now!
Start by showing up as the version of you who’s ready to attract the kind of partner you actually want.
Because dating apps are just a delivery system.
And you are the one pulling the levers.
👉 Are you ready to stop relying on swipes and build a dating strategy that works for you? 📅 Book a free dating strategy call with me here and let’s talk about your next move.
You've got this. 💕
