Women have been taught conflicting things about sex. We were warned about the dangers of having sex, but also told it’s our job to attract men who want to have it with us. Women are also taught that our desire is only responsive to a man’s. And only by being desired by someone else should women feel sexual arousal of our own. Seeing your body only in service to someone else means many women don’t even know what they like or enjoy. We think we need to find the right partner to take us to the magical place of orgasm, not recognizing we can create the thoughts and feelings of sexual pleasure on our own.