What do my uncle's funeral and a podcast about resting have in common? We need to let go of the need to people please in order to have everyone cry at your funeral when you die. Women are socialized to believe our value is in serving others. That we should always be busy, that we are never allowed to rest. There is another way. You do not have to earn your rest. You are allowed to say no to projects and people that aren't aligned with the kind of life you want to create for yourself.

One of the biggest mistakes I think women make is deciding after a couple of dates or a few months of dating that the person they are seeing is 'perfect.' But what happens next is usually heartbreak when this amazing person turns out not to be ‘perfect’ after all. What is the solution? Read on.

Five years ago I was full of rage and divorcing my then husband. Today we get along better than ever - including having family time with our son and my (not his) daughter. What changed?
Hint: Not him.

Let's talk about 'ghosting'! Presumably everybody's least favorite part of online dating. I see so many posts of women in the different Facebook groups I am in or coaching complaining about being ghosted. I get it. It sucks.

... but does it?

Urban Dictionary describes 'ghosting' as: When a person cuts off all communication with the person they're dating, with zero warning or notice before hand. My question is: why is this a problem? Seriously.

Women are notoriously bad at asking for help. What keeps us from asking for help? Usually shame, for starters. But doing it all is not the answer.

I no longer think about going on a 'first date.' Why? Because first dates traditionally are filled with a nervous energy and a lot of expectations placed on how they should go and what they mean and what will happen after. After having too many disappointing Saturday night dinners out when I would rather have been home, alone, or doing something, literally anything, else, I rethought how I approached first dates. What I do instead is go on a 'meetup."

Take a moment and look around at your life --- notice your relationships, your work, your family --- take a quick stock of what is. Then consider for a moment that you have created all of this with your thoughts. How so? Your thoughts create your feelings which lead you to take actions which create your results. The good news? You can change your thoughts and feelings to change your results!

Are you dating and looking for a partnered relationship? When you meet someone do you think “I’ll know if it’s a fit when I meet them?” If that’s the case, you’re approaching dating wrong. You need to know what you want so you know it when you see it.

Does it seem like if other people would just do things differently, you wouldn’t have to suffer? That if other people would just change, your experience in life would be better?
This is called resistance and it is causing you to suffer. Here’s why and what to do about it.

Do you find yourself saying "I hate dating apps!" or "I'm so sick of dating apps!"? If you're feeling exhausted with dating apps, the apps are not the problem. The apps provide a solution. How you're thinking about them is the problem!

What is shame? It is the feeling of distress that stems from believing there is a ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ way to do something and that you are doing it wrong. This is not a helpful emotion. Here’s what to do instead.

Why do women often rush into dating relationships? We don’t do this with friends or work colleagues. Only in dating do we think the connection should be instant or it might not work. I disagree and here’s how I slow things down.

You think you’re confused. Confusion makes you feel stuck and unable to make a decision. You’re not confused, you’re scared. Here’s what’s really going on.

Women spend a lot of time wondering ‘why?’ a guy did or didn’t do something. This is never a helpful question because it only leads to rumination and feeling stuck - not any good answers.

Do you spend a lot of time thinking about allll the things you are bad at or doing wrong? Here’s my list. And a few things I think I am doing right!

Are you in an intimate relationship with someone that feels like dating… but you’re not actually DATING? See why I think that is a bad idea.

Wondering if you should send a follow-up text after a first date? Here’s my take…

What are you making more complicated than it needs to be? Ask yourself, “How can this be easy?” Then do that!

It’s back to school time! Here’s what I wish for my son.